The Life I’m Trying to Find

There's a lump in my throat
one holding me
in hypocrisy
for what I should be

I'm trapped
in the same location
as my past lies
void of new creation

I long for something 
new and pure 
an eraser for my past
that could be my eternal cure

I'm alone and slowly drowning 
deep within this broken mind
a fading hope within me
for the life I'm trying to find.

Can You Hear Me?

Can you hear me?
I called for you
I whispered softly
as my panic grew

Can you hear me?
I'm falling apart now
reaching for you
screaming loud

Can you hear me?
I am nothing
my thoughts are holding me up
trying to make me something

Can you hear me?
I'm dead to the world
and all around me
heaven twirls

Looking Back

looking back
my laughs were louder
my thoughts were purer 
and my parents prouder

looking back
I have your hand in mine
your heart held tight
and a love I struggled to find

looking back
I was sad
falling apart
and at life I was mad

looking back
down upon the planet
people are laughing 
as I proceed with my last transit

Screaming In Silence

I'm screaming in silence 
my hands grasp the invisible
as I close my eyes tighter 
to hide all that is visible

I breathe in tears
and feel as if I'm drowning
I feel the burning in my soul
and my heart is pounding

I reach inside my brain
to smother all I know
but am resisted by the vines
by which my panic grows

The stems reach up 
and around me close
my sanity is leaving 
as the shadows enclose

Memories are Painful

Memories are painful
stored up and away
but what hurts the most
is their tendency to stay

They wrap themselves around
and hold fast to your brain
never allowing you to forget
and leave on your heart a stain

All around you there are
places that will prick you inside
but what you have to realize is 
you aren't that same person you're still trying to find

So gather those moments
and treasure them well
because one day very soon
they won't be the key to a living hell

Driving Away

I'm driving away
down roads that line
my heart that's 
beating in perfect time
to the memories of my past
beginning a new 
present and future 
destroying the person I grew
to be now
and retreating to hide
behind the curtain
of who I actually am inside

Raise Your Glass

Raise your glass to those
who ooze with courage 
who destroy stereotypes
and who brave society
because us others
us who stand down
us who are firm molded
and us who hide
we are living life
through the storms of others
and through the looking glass of our peers

I’m Broken

I'm broken
to a point where mending 
is unheard of 
down to the joints
down in my bones
deep within my soul
I cry out
begging and pleading
struggling to grab on to anything
that can hold me above
the brutal waters of the deep 
its desire to swallow me whole

The Weary

Where are the weary 
the ones seeking rest
from life around them
unmoving unless
a spur of motivation
or gain
inhaled deep within
grain by grain
building up slowly
picking up limbs
and forcing movement
before the future turns grim

Nature’s Smile

A pale sunset touching the horizon
blissfully chasing away 
the time, the past, the moment
relishing the things which stay 
holding in a glimpse of memory 
even if only for a while
we lay low inside it all
captured in nature's smile